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| 박관영 |
지금 강사가 처리하고 있습니다 11:13. 좋은 하루 되세요. |
| 2012-06-13 |
| 오전 11:13:08 |
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| Mia |
Hi!! I will start by saying sorry... I could not have class these three days..
Correct: Hi! Let me start by saying sorry because I can’t have classes for three days.
I had some problems..heheh..
Correct: I have some problems.
So the problem is I have a one minute speech test at school, and it effects my grades if I have wrong grammar,
Correct: My problem is about a minute speech oral test at school and it will affect my grades if I have a lot of grammatical mistakes.
so I wish you can help me with the grammar and tell my what's wrong about my essay..
Correct: I wish you could help me with my grammatical mistakes and correct them.
So this is the one minute essay:
Correct: This is a one-minute essay:
A women was waiting for her son in front of a building.
Correct: A woman was waiting for her son in front of a building.
A few minutes later a call came from her son saying he would be 30 minutes late.
Correct: A few minutes later, a call came from her son saying he would be 30 minutes late.
Correct: The women decided to wait inside and bought a newspaper and a chocolate bar.
She sat down and left the bar and the newspaper to the chair next to hers.
Correct: She sat down and placed the chocolate bar and the newspaper on the chair next to hers.
10 minutes later, a young man came and sat down next to her newspaper and the chocolate bar.
Correct: Ten minutes later, a young man came and sat down next to her newspaper and the chocolate bar.
Correct: He ate the chocolate bar and took the newspaper as if it was his.
Correct: The woman got really angry.
Correct: She followed him to a restaurant and waited until his food was served.
Correct: She then took his food and ate it all.
The young man was flustured.
Correct: The young man was flustered.
The women told him of what he did.
Correct: The women told him what he did.
Then her phone rang.
Correct: Suddenly, her phone rang.
She looked into her bag to get the phone, but found out her cocolate bar and the newspaper was in her bag.
Correct: She looked into her bag to get the phone, but surprisingly found out her chocolate bar and the newspaper was in her bag.
Hi Eunice
Thank you for taking time to write to me. I made a few corrections on your speech. It was a funny story. Despite of some incorrect sentence structures and misspelled words, you were able to convey the message clearly. Practice more and I believe you will be a good writer someday
Teacher MIA
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| 2012-06-13 |
| 오전 11:17:26 |
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| Mia |
You can also add a simple conclusion to end the story well. Here is an example:
The woman was very embarrassed and apologized profusely. She paid for the young man's meal and went out of the restaurant. This became her most embarrassing experience and that she would never forget.
THE END :) |
| 2012-06-13 |
| 오전 11:21:20 |
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